Christmas Is Over, On To The New Year

Is there anything as depressing as driving home after the holidays? The scenery is dreary. The weather is generally gloomy. There is not much coming up to look forward to, except maybe watching the Huskers lose a bowl game. (Aren’t I optimistic?)

The only thing I remember being more depressing is going back to school after holiday vacation. Going back to school after summer vacation was a little sad, but it also was exciting. You could always look forward to seeing your friends again and anticipate what the new school year would be like. But after Christmas vacation, you knew what the school year was going to be like and it was going to be a long stretch until the next vacation.

So what are we going to look forward to now? Valentine’s Day? Don’t make me laugh. I’ve had two kids. I might pee myself a little.

I am enjoying the clothes and movies and music and books I got for Christmas. That is fun.

Fortunately, vacation isn’t entirely done yet. We are using the rest of the days off to go to a few movies, spend a little Christmas money, and eat foods that would totally be off the diet list. But if you can’t eat good around the holidays, are they really holidays?

That’s what January and New Year’s resolutions are all about. Starting a new diet and eating stuff that’s good for you. You know, all that stuff that makes you miss the holidays. All that stuff that makes you sad when you are driving home after the holidays.

I was changing over the calendar to a new 2012 calendar yesterday, putting in all the birthdays and things I need to remember next year. Every December I look over the past year, month by month, to make sure I don’t miss anything. It’s kind of a tradition for me; it is kind of a review of the past year as I get ready for the new one.

There were some really fun times I remember writing down. There were the volleyball, soccer, basketball, and football games. We had so many wonderful times and saw our wonderful friends at these events. There was the 7^th and 8^th grade school trip I helped chaperone to Martin Luther College. That was fun and Mandy and I got to see a side of our Lutheran synod that we just don’t get to see in Nebraska. There was the NELHS volleyball tournament. The kids’ school team won their division, and both kids were able to work hard on the court and be proud of their performance. I will never forget watching my kids work together and finally win a trophy. There was the Mobridge/Rushmore vacation this summer and the trip to Hawaii this December. Those were incredible. It made me want to go on Expedia and make plans for 2012.

But there were things I saw that gave me a low, sinking feeling. There were the doctor’s appointments for my skin issues and surgeries. It also made me remember my dad’s surgeries and hospital visits in 2011. How much better he looks today. He’s not quite completely his old self, but he is so much healthier. The first day of school for the kids was no picnic, either. It was so hard for Mandy to go back when most of her friends moved on to high school. The first couple of weeks were so difficult and filled with sadness. But it is such a blessing that she is so happy and confident today. Instead of sitting around, she rushes out to do new things, meet new people, write new stories. She works her butt off, literally, to be one of the stronger players on her volleyball gold team. She is actually a lot stronger person—inside and out—then I ever was in high school.

So what are we going to look forward to in 2012?

Fun stuff. Mandy has her volleyball practices and games to keep us running. She has four practices a week, plus tournaments every other weekend. Both kids also have basketball, through YMCA and through school. We can’t wait to see them play in the school tournament. They won’t win the tournament, like they did in volleyball. But it will be the last year they will play on a team together, and that is just wonderful to me. I hope they each make a few baskets and rebounds and maybe even run a screen for the other one or help each other out on the court.

It was exciting to write down the date for the kids’ school play. They both have major parts in the play. I’m not sure if either one is the villain. Last year they were the villains, and were unfortunately very good at playing villains. I’m not sure what that means psychologically, but it probably isn’t fantastic. Joe surprised us all with his acting skills. I can’t count how many people came up to tell me how impressed they were with Joe and his evil businessman moves.

Both kids will be taking the hunter safety class this year. I should have had Joe in this class before he turned 12, but I thought he had to be 12 first. My bad. Anyway, now Mandy is also interested in shooting and wants to take the class with her brother. Joe actually hit several blue rock when he was shooting over the break in Cozad. He is anxious to keep practicing. And Mandy? She likes being tough, like the boys. However, I hate to tell her that she just can not look like a bad ass with pigtails. It just isn’t working.

This year will also mark our 20 year anniversary. Maybe Rick and I will do something fun to celebrate. Or maybe we will just run our kids around to sporting events. Most likely the latter.

If we do take a trip this year, I am hoping we will finally make it to Yellowstone. I’ve wanted to take the kids there for years. But Rick’s coaching baseball and midget football has always gotten in the way. It is sacrilege, evidently, for a coach to miss a practice or a game. Buttermaker can’t let anybody else yell at his boys for him. But nobody is getting any younger here.

When I came to writing in the rest of the kids’ school dates, I got a major sucker punch in the gut. This year Mandy will get confirmed. And she will graduate from the Lutheran grade school. She will no longer be my baby. She will be all grown up, taking communion, getting a picture slide show of her during her school years at graduation. In fact, I had to write down the dates for high school signup deadlines in January. In the next few weeks she has to make a final decision about what high school she wants to go to and we have to send in her intent letter.

This year will be a major change in our household. Mandy will go to high school. No longer will I drop both kids off at the same school. No longer will they have recess together. Talk about a stomach ache. Mandy will be walking down the halls of some Class A high school. She will have to run from classroom to classroom at the bell. She will have to try out for volleyball. She will have to take finals. She will have to deal with mean girls and gigolo teenage boys.

I don’t think I’m ready for 2012.

But one thing I’ve learned this last year is that no matter what the challenge, it is all part of God’s plan. I’ve always been a fixer and a worrier. I try to fix everyone’s problems. And the ones I can’t fix, I sit around and worry about.

Truth be told, I am not in control of anything. That is a huge challenge for someone who is a total control freak. It’s all part of God’s plan. He is the one calling all the shots. What I can control, however, is how I deal with it. I can worry or I can pray. And even though I don’t understand why God has put certain events in my life, they are there for a reason. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

So it’s onwards and upwards for 2012.

I’m looking forward to big basketball games and a new niece or nephew in the next month or two. I’m also anticipating the big changes for the coming year. I’ve always feared change. And big changes mean big fear. Maybe my strong daughter can teach me courage this fall. I’m going to need some of her strength.

But I’ve got a few months before things start to get hectic. Where are those truffles Joe gave me for Christmas? It ain’t January yet.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will direct your paths.

Proverbs 3, 5-6