The Bell Curve

Ring the bell. Who says beer and higher learning can’t go hand in hand?

I took philosophy in college, but it was never as entertaining as the philosophizing my husband and I do with our friends over beer and pizza on Saturday night. (Of course, everything is a little more entertaining with beer and pizza, especially if someone else is buying.)

We have some great friends who we love going out with to talk about our high school years, our kids, and the way the world should be. Our discussions can range from the probabilities of the movie “Red Dawn” becoming a reality to the pros and cons of the Pledge of Allegiance in public schools. And who really has three dates to their senior prom? Seriously? And your wife still married you?

After about the third or fourth pitcher of beer, one friend loves to break out a cocktail napkin and introduce unsuspecting victims to his “bell curve of life.”

It looks like a traditional bell curve. You start life at the bottom of the curve. As you grow up and go through school and high school, you climb the side of the bell. Life just keeps getting better and better. During your college years, you are just about at the apex. You’ve hit on the best years of your life. You are having the most fun, making the best friends, and living the best time of your life.

Then you graduate from college and get a job. The curve starts to recede ever so slightly. Then maybe you get married, and according to our friend, that’s when the curve really takes a dive. (This is when his wife orders another pitcher.) As you age and have kids, the curve quickly drops away. There goes all your fun and freedom.

Our friend loves to educate the interns at his office on the bell curve of life. He feels it is part of their life education. This is it, so enjoy it while you can. Sometimes their parents actually agree.

I always get a kick when our friend dupes another victim. But while I can laugh, I can’t say I necessarily agree. If I knew back then in my “glory days” what I know now, things would have been different. I wouldn’t have stressed out so much over what now I realize were little things. One bad grade does not mean the end of the world as we know it. I would have recognized that boys are dumb. I would see that some people really weren’t my friends. I wouldn’t have taken things so hard or worried so much about what other people thought. There were a lot of good times, but there were a lot of bad times too.

If I was to graph my own life on a bell curve (where is Mr. Coon when I need him?), I would put this time in my life at the top of my curve. High school and college were great. There were lots of parties, friends, boys, and freedom. But there were lots of heartbreaks and finals and uncertainties about the future. And all those experiences helped me become the person I am now.

Finding a profession I really love and am good at would rank higher on my chart than a high school prom or college kegger. Marrying my husband and having children would definitely create a big spike. (However, the period in which my son Joe was 2 and 3 might take a dip.) I love watching my kids grow and become the people they are going to be. And now that they take care of themselves – for the most part – I have some time to do things for myself. I can get a pedicure or go to the grocery store by myself (and I can get three bags of Lays pickle chips if I feel the need). Plus we have a few extra dollars to buy a new couch or go on a vacation to Hawaii. And although sometimes he is just a big kid, I still think my husband looks cute and he keeps me laughing.

Yep, life is pretty good right now. This can’t be any less fun than when I was 16. Nobody grounds me and takes the battery out of my car to run an irrigation well for staying out past midnight. And I know the same guy who takes me to the dance is taking me home later (even if sometimes I have to drive).

I’m afraid my bell curve still hasn’t started its decline. You see, you learn something new everyday. But who would have thought I might actually use geometry beyond the 10^th grade? My apologies Mr. Coon.

 Schoolhouse Rock Conjunction Function   (I know, I should have used a math related one, but this one is my favorite.)

Ring My Bell by Anita Ward