I’ve always loved to shop. If there is anything I really inherited from my mother, it was probably the love of all things shopping mall.
If I ever am having a really downer week, or if I know I have a really awful event coming up that gives me a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, I go shopping. It kind of takes the edge off a crappy day if you can face it with a new shirt and slap on a new pair of shoes.
But I find that I rarely make it over to Lincoln
Pardon my Jerry Seinfeld, but what is up with all the coupons? Every time I go to the mailbox, it is overflowing with circulars and coupons. I can’t believe how easily I am snared by the call of the coupon. I consider myself a logical person and I know it is all a gimmick, but those coupons start burning a hole in my wallet that just increases the closer they get to their expiration date.
In my opinion, Kohl’s probably does it best. They send you a coupon in the mail for 15, 20 or 30 percent off your next purchase. And every day they have about 90 percent of the items I need to buy already on sale. What started out as a $25 shirt is now $15, plus your 20 percent off the whole store coupon. Then, go during an early bird special and the sales are even bigger. And during certain times of year, they give you Kohl’s cash to spend the next time you come in. They are like an old, hot boyfriend you could never completely walk away from -- they just keep reeling you back for more.
True story, the clothes aren’t the highest quality. But as quickly as my kids and husband wear through them, the clothes last long enough for every day. And they have everything from bathroom towels to coffee makers, radio-controlled toys to patio furniture. The last time I went to Kohl’s I spent around $80. The receipt said I saved about $120. What? How can it be that I saved 60 percent of what I spent? How can they stay in business? Is this stuff all crap, or did Congress legalize slave labor again? I actually laughed out loud when the clerk handed me a coupon for another $10 in Kohl’s cash. Really? I’m not just saying lol, I really did.
Occasionally I clean the old coupons out of my purse. This is a task I do not enjoy. It’s not because I don’t like to clean. If the truth be told, I am probably a little bit of a clean freak. No, I don’t like it because it steals my happy whenever I find a great coupon that I forgot to use and have to throw it away because it expired. I just threw out a $10 off coupon at Famous Footwear. It bums me out because I had my eye on a pair of cute, black heels – not flat mom shoes and not spiky hooker shoes. Bummer, the shoes now went from just right to full price.
If there was anything I would like to throw out of my purse, however, it’s all these stupid membership/friendship cards. Each store has their own card that they have to scan when you make a purchase so you can qualify for a lower “friends-only” price, or you can rack up points to get coupons in the mail. I can’t believe I have a card at Petsmart to rack up points on chew toys and cat litter. My favorite card is my Russ’s Market card. It gives me cents off of gas when I buy groceries (although I buy most of my groceries at Super Saver). Even if it’s just two cents off a gallon, I do a happy dance in my head when I save money on gas. And I think “sucker” whenever I see someone fill up for more somewhere else. I have so many of these cards, I just rubber-band them together in my purse. In fact, I think there are too many for one rubber band to hold, so I have two piles.
Really I do hate these cards. The reason is that it makes me feel stupid whenever the clerk asks for your card. Yes, I am that woman in line in front of you, the one you got behind because she only had one or two items. However when it comes time to pay, she takes five minutes to shuffle through her membership cards, until she finds the right one to hand the clerk. One time my rubber band snapped and my pile scattered everywhere. I said a bad word. Now I know to just give them my phone number so they can look up my account. It no longer concerns me that the guy behind me in line is getting my digits. I am not smoking hot.
If I try to philosophize why I am so easily seduced by the coupon trade and the lure of free stuff, it probably goes back to that hunting and gathering instinct God stuck in us to provide for our families. We just want to hunt down the best deal and gather it home. I refuse, however, to fight with some woman at the store over one item, like you see in television comedies. However, I will walk a little faster to get in the front door to get to the sale stuff first.
Actually I’m sure it all has something to do with the economic times we live in. Some economist would be able to explain how the world shops in changing waves. Sometimes we are willing to spend for luxury items, when we have the disposable income. Sometimes we save up and shop for quality. If we are going to spend the money, we want something that is going to last. Sometimes we are just barely squeaking by and we shop where we can get the best bargain for our buck. I think a lot of us are living in this stage, especially those of us with ever-growing, technology-loving kids.
But why talk when you can shop? I’d go on and on, but I’ve got to wrap this up. I’ve got a 30 percent off coupon and $10 of Kohl’s cash in my purse that runs out today. And if I leave now, I can still catch the Early Bird specials. I think I’ve got a rough day coming up at least once this week.
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