My daughter is 13

My daughter is 13, but few people would make that guess.

When she turned 13, she was the same height as I was (5’6’’). Currently she is about one to two inches taller than I am, depending on the shoes. She is athletic, enjoys playing middle hitter for her club volleyball team, and loves to plow girls over while charging down the soccer field. She has curves that most girls don’t get until their senior year of high school. (At least I didn't.) She loves red hair, but I’ll only let her get red highlights – for now. We have to show some restraint. A little bird told me that another 13-year-old-boy’s mom remarked that if my daughter was 13, she was a 13-year-old on steroids.

This predicament causes my husband and me a little fear, a little pride, and a whole lot of paranoia. Neither of us was so developed at that age. Plus, we both grew up in small towns, where you know the friends – and the boyfriends. You know whose kid is the shy, sweet type and whose kid is the motorcycle racing, gigolo type. (I always preferred the later.)

Granted, Lincoln is not a metropolis, but it’s still a crap shoot regarding the lineage of any Tom, Dick, or Walter. The creepers are everywhere. One of my daughter’s best friends carries pepper spray and knows how to use it. So far we have refrained from this, mostly because we question her aim. We also aren’t sure if she will remember which side of the can has the nozzle. As I said, we have paranoia.

Sometimes, however, I enjoy walking several paces behind her just to see what she doesn’t see. It’s funny now that I’m grown and I know the things that I know. I’ve seen boys at Scheels go wide-eyed when she is looking at fishing lures in the same aisle, back out of the aisle, and then slink back minutes later to look at something right next to her. Then there was the sweet, quiet boy nervously talking to her at church camp, all the while the boy’s older brother walked by and sneaked a picture with his cell phone. I’ve also seen her walking with a group of friends at an amusement park, totally oblivious to the fact that she was passing a long-time ex boyfriend. I then watched him do a total double-take after she was safely past. Yeah, he better just keep walking.

And it doesn’t just happen at the mall. I can’t decide which comes first: the sophomore boy who lives across the street goes out to mow his lawn, and then Mandy goes out to read her new book. Or, if Mandy cracks the book cover out on the front porch and the quiet of the neighborhood is broken by the sound of the mower cranking up. Clearly it is a chicken/egg situation.

Mandy may only be beginning her teen years, but there are two things we’ve learned: 1) don’t wear volleyball spanks to the grocery store after a game. My husband Rick had to muster a little self control when he saw some schoolers following his daughter with their cell phone to a get a picture of her butt. Glad I didn’t have to bail him out of the clink that day for assault and battery. And B) parents are so embarrassing, but that power can be used for good. Rick loves to embarrass Mandy when walking by a group of schoolers at the theater, or mall, or even in the driveway. For example, he likes to say in his loud Grandpa Bernard voice, “Really, you think that boy is cute?” or “Hey, check me out.” This has her running for the car. I just love Rick.

Really and truly I know that we have some serious challenges ahead of us. As in all things that give me stress, I try to find the humor in the situation. It helps me deal with the hard parts of life, especially because Mandy has the biggest, softest heart. She will get her heart broken. She will embarrass herself (she is her mother’s daughter).

All we can do is ensure that we have given her a strong enough Christian foundation to keep things in perspective and to make good choices. Boyfriends come and go. Good girl friends can last forever. And as Jimmy Soul puts it, “if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.” (This, of course, goes for husbands too.) Words to live by. Think about it.

If You Wanna Be Happy For The Rest Of Your Life